Grief is a deeply painful experience. It may creep in gradually as you watch a loved one suffer through illness, losing them little by little. Or it may arrive suddenly and without warning, turning your life upside down in an instant.

Anticipatory grief can begin the moment we learn that someone we love has a life-threatening illness. Even before the loss occurs, we begin to brace ourselves. We may focus all our energy on them – soaking up every moment, every expression of love. We try harder to care for them, to keep them well. We bargain with faith or fate, hoping to hold onto them just a little longer.

As their health declines, caregiving often becomes the center of our lives. And yet, daily responsibilities – children, work, home, and family, don’t pause. The emotional and physical toll can be overwhelming. But we hold on tightly, because letting go feels unimaginable.

Sudden grief is like a tsunami – violent, unexpected, and all-consuming. If you witness a death firsthand, the trauma can be profound. Your mind may replay the event over and over. Flashbacks and intrusive memories are the brain’s attempt to process what happened. These moments can haunt both your waking hours and your sleep.

Grief demands that we sit with sadness. It requires us to acknowledge the loss and give ourselves permission to mourn.

Each grief experience is unique, shaped by the relationship we had with the person who died. Even within families, each person grieves differently because their bond with the deceased was different. Every individual carries their own story, their own hopes and dreams for the future of that relationship. This is why people often say, “You can’t understand.” And they’re right. We can never fully understand another’s loss. But with empathy, we can recognize their pain—and stand with them in it.

Grief can rob you of joy. It drains your energy, leaving you feeling numb or disconnected. Things that once made you laugh may now feel meaningless. You may want to retreat, to sleep, to escape the pain. If the person who died was part of your future plans, the loss can leave life feeling senseless. You may struggle to imagine a path forward. Reinventing your life might feel like an insurmountable task.

Grief is often accompanied by anxiety. You may feel vulnerable and uncertain. You may become preoccupied with your own health or mortality. The world may suddenly feel unpredictable, as though nothing can be taken for granted anymore.

While grief can resemble depression – loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, lack of joy or motivation, sleep disturbances, and anxiety – it is different. Grief is a natural response to loss. In most cases, over the course of one to two years, people begin to adapt. The intensity of the grief eases, and they slowly rebuild a life with new routines and purpose.

Grief is a process and it cannot be rushed.